Nickleback's Chad Kroeger to release a shredding range of new premium wines (RedtoBrown News EXCLUSIVE)

Chad hopes his new range of wines
shred as much as his soft rock mega-hits.

 The wine world is utterly abuzz at the news Chad Kroeger from Canadian rock band Nickleback will be joining the ranks of Rock n Roll wine makers by releasing his own range of premium wines under the Chateau Kroeger label. The announcement puts Chad in the same company as Maynard James Keenan of rock band Tool, and was confirmed during a press conference in the Nickleback tour bus as the band moved east to New York as part of their worldwide tour. In the conference, Kroger outed himself as a born-again wine fan. “My wife, Avril is part-French, so she was weaned on Beaujolais nouveau and loves moscato, tequila and grapefruit shooters. I also love the stuff, having drunk lots of Kristal and Grey Goose in my time. Her passion has been infectious on so many levels, and wine is one of them”.

The first wine in the Chateau Kroeger range will be the “How You Remind Me Cuvee”, an ambitious non-vintage blend of Zinfandel, Chardonnay and Moscato, matured in new American oak and infused with maple syrup essence and vanilla musk. It comes in a black glass bottle shaped as a fender Stratocaster. The second in the range is the “Photograph Sparkling NV” a blend of white zinfandel, Thompson seedless, and brandy, topped up with 1982 vintage Kristal. Each bottle of the Sparkling NV will have a 50ml vial of a Chad and Avril perfume to really add to the romance of this premium wine.



The Photograph Sparkling NV is in many ways
 a tribute to Chad's love of wife Avril (inset).



"These wines rock, but have a softer, more stylish side, just like me and my buddies” Kroeger gushed. “We drink the test batches in the dressing rooms all the time. It gets us pumped before we shred on the power ballads”.

Kroeger described his wine making philosophy and the genesis of his wine label during an interactive portion of the announcement.  “I aim to make honest wine, with minimal intervention from the winemaker, sincere and true wine, just like my tunes”. Kroeger revealed his wine making techniques to the enthusiastic crowd, including playing acoustic versions of Nickleback’s greatest hits to the truckloads of grapes shipped-in from Nevada.

“I reserve the love songs I have written for Avril when playing to the grapes that go into the “Photograph Sparkling NV”. I think they taste sweeter and more sincere as a result. It is hard for the winery staff to go about their day jobs when I go to that special musical place. Tears flow, I have to admit”.

 Chad has been know to connect with
 the grapes prior to them
going into his premium wines.

When asked about the inspiration behind Chateau Kroeger, Chad recounted the moment he spoke to Maynard from Tool about his Caduceus wine label – a discussion that convinced him to pursue his wine making dream. “I told Maynard that his wines rocked even harder than his Lateralus record. He called me a lightweight and told me to fuck off, but his enthusiasm and energy was infectious. My wine dream was born that day”.

Maynard James Keenan (inset) 
refused to be quoted for this article.

The Chateau Kroeger How You Remind Me Cuvee and Photograph Sparkling NV go on sale next week for $US 450 and $US 790 respectively. They can be purchased from any Wallmart or 7-11 Stores across the USA and Canada.

RedtoBrown #Orangegate EXCLUSIVE: Port Adelaide Power to consider lobbying government to rename the beverage ‘wine’*

Adelaide Friday 23 May: Having succeeded in convincing the Australian government to change the name of the fortified wine Port (with Wine Australia renaming it ‘Tawny’ in 2006), AFL football club, Port Adelaide Power are pressing ahead with moves to change the name of the alcoholic beverage ‘wine’ to something else in order to avoid confusion with star player Ollie Wines.

The move by Port Adelaide comes at the same time the New South Wales wine growing region of Orange is attempting to regulate skin contact wine being referred-to as ‘orange’ to avoid similar confusion
among consumers and retailers. - Link: Here

Port Adelaide President David Koch hit the media circuit yesterday calling for wine to be renamed, and has even met with members of parliament to argue his case. “Ollie Wines is one of our best players, and market research is showing that the beverage wine is hurting his cut-through in the market – neutral fans we are trying to attract keep getting wine confused with Ollie Wines. Given his already massive profile, it seems an obvious move to either rename the drink or put strict caveats on the use of the term ‘wine’ when selling it at shops." 

The controversy over the Ollie Wines/Wine confusion has prompted Wine Australia to issue a clarification on the use of the term ‘wine’ when referring to wine. Henry Wilson, General Manager, Regulatory Services noted the following on the Wine Australia website:

“The word “wine” can signify many things; an alcoholic beverage, a star Australian Rules Football Player, something an interest group or region may think is important to their bottom line and want protected/denied to other people using the term legitimately. But when used to describe the alcoholic beverage known as wine, it could be an offence under both the Wine Australia Corporation Act and the Sports Trademark Act to refer to it as wine without providing a clear indication the product is not in fact Ollie Wines, the AFL football player, or a product derived from that player.”

Wine commentators and wine producers have been busily digesting the new clarification on the use of the word ‘wine’, and were considering alternatives to avoid further confusion with the Port Adelaide Football Club. Shortlisted alternatives were “Tomayne, Apalleraya, and Jungle juice”.

Confusion: Is this wine or Ollie Wines? 

Wine makers and producers are on notice to consider changing their labels to fully differentiate between the various uses of the term ‘wine’, and Wine Australia has encouraged the Australian Wine industry to be proactive and suggest alternative words to describe their product in anticipation of the Port Adelaide proposals succeeding in Australian and the European Union parliaments.

Hands off Ollie! - PAFC President David Koch adamant
that 3000 years of wine making history will not dilute Ollie Wines' brand image

*Satire, views expressed are personal satirical opinions, etc.  PAFC have nothing to do with any wine related issues, other than encouraging Ollie Wines to help win the AFL Premiership in 2014 and beyond.

The Second Annual Broken Hill International Wine Show – Continuing the Revolution

Following the hugely successful inaugural 2012 Broken Hill International Wine show, a new energetic organising committee are set to take the International wine show to a whole new level.

Last night, the Broken Hill Chamber of Wine and Food Commerce, in conjunction once again with the Far West Alternative Wine Growers Collective launched the 2013 Broken Hill International Wine Show.
 
The launch was hosted by new Chairman of the Chamber organising committee, Xin Xin Lee and held in the hall of the recently renovated and renamed Yellowtail-Constellation Chambers of Food and Wine.
Mr Lee replaced the original Chairman of the event, Johan Trambly-Churchill last March when reports came to light suggesting Trambly-Churchill had on-sold thousands of bottles of excess wines submitted to the wine show.  Funds from the on-selling had allegedly paid for a renovation to Trambly-Churchill’s ensuite and underground wine cellar, though these rumours were never substantiated.

Seeking to distance himself from the controversy of 2012, Mr Lee made a series of exciting announcements regarding the upcoming wine show. Highlights included:

-        The number of wines submitted for judging had trebled (to 3545 entries), as had the number of wine classes (100 up from 35).

-        A small team of 5 unknown, but exciting wine judges, wine writers and bloggers would be tasting and judging the entries over a three day ‘wine lockdown’ period.  Mr Lee defended the unknown tasting panel and shortened period for judging the wines (three days down from 5), noting that the team of judges were the emerging ‘crème de la crème’ of the twitterverse and all functioning alcoholics, so would be more than able to handle the intense wine tasting load.

-        A slightly tweaked Galena Tasting Panel Method™’ would be used to make the final call on split decisions and to decide the 135 trophies that will be handed out during the show, though details were not forthcoming on the night.

As the centrepiece of the launch, Mr Lee announced that the Broken Hill wine show will be the first in the world to showcase a virtual tasting of ancient wines that have long since been unavailable to consumers and wine critics alike. The revolutionary wine tasting concept, labelled the ‘Magical Wine Mystery Tour’ was the brainchild of Santa Monica native Dr Trey Garcia.
Dr Garcia, who has a triple degree in viticulture, mysticism and marketing from UCLA has spent almost 10 years studying ancient wines as well as séance and extra-sensory perception strengthening methods.

Given the shock and amazement felt in the press gallery following the announcement, RedtoBrown Wine News was lucky enough to speak to Dr Garcia after the presentation and asked him how he came to develop virtual wine tastings using mystical methods.
"Early on in my journey through mysticism I was able to connect easily with relatives and pets I had as a kid. With this natural power of mysticism and crossing over, I turned my attention to my other love – wine.”
The Ancient Wine séance will include virtual tastings of Athenian wine consumed after the Battle of Marathon, infamous Roman Falernian from the 121BC vintage, a bottle of the first vintage of Champagne made by Dom Perignon in 1670, several pre-phylloxera Burgundy and Bordeaux’s from the 19^th Century as well as a bottle of the first commercially available red wine produced in Australia (an 1819 vintage sourced from grapes grown adjacent to Sydney Cove).

Trey Garcia explained the process of the ‘Magical Wine Tasting Mystery Tour’ to RedtoBrown: ‘It starts with the tasters ‘crossing over’ together to the period in history the wine comes from. Using my powers of extra sensory perception, I will be pouring the wine into the glasses of the tasters and we will join together in a séance, savouring several historic wines from several parallel realities. I am qualified globally in the responsible serving of alcohol so unfortunately the tasting sizes will only be 50ml”.


An artist's impression of the 121Bc Falernian
 to be tasted virtually at the Broken Hill International Wine Show

RedtoBrown News was unable to verify that the virtual tasting was legitimate, despite our repeated attempts to be given a test run. Dr Garcia did note that well-respected Decanter wine writer, Andrew Jefford had experienced two test runs of the ‘Magical Wine Mystery Tour’ last week, and could verify its authenticity.
When RedtoBrown News contacted Mr Jefford via email, he provided glowing praise for Dr Garcia’s work.

“Words do not do that tasting justice” Jefford noted in his email response. “Twice I was transported to taste the finest, most authentic (and largely cork-sealed) wine from ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, medieval and pre-industrial revolution Europe. I even tasted low PH, (but no added acid) –era Australian wine. As predicted well before the tasting, the Australian wine was like rot-gut, but it was authentic, sincere, cork-sealed: an authentic total wine experience.  The Magical Wine Mystery Tour was other worldly and only poetry can truly capture its brilliance. Allow me” (Mr Jefford proceeded to craft a poem for RedtoBrown):

"Earth in my fingers/the love stork chirping/
like silk on my skin/wine from heaven/
In heaven eternally”.

The Broken Hill International Wine Show follows the successful Sydney Wine Show and Rootstock Natural Wine Show, though has intentionally been brought forward to trump the Karratha Asia Pacific Wine Show and the newly announced Ipswich International Burgundy Challenge.
RedtoBrown News will notify readers of the 100 trophy winners in upcoming posts.

Manitoba's version of Natalie MacLean - RedtoBrown News Interview Canada's Top Wine Writer

In the amateur blogging coup of the decade, RedtoBrown Wine News managed to secure an exclusive interview with Manitoba’s famous wine writer Doris MacDay following a chance meeting* at last month's Las Vegas Blog/Website Monetisation Maximisation Conference.

After years of hard work, Doris MacDay has become one of the pre-eminent North American wine writers, on a par with Ontario’s Natalie MacLean and Maryland’s Robert Parker jr. Doris was kind enough to speak to a representative of R2B at the conference afterparty.


A rare image from 1997 of Ms MacDay, taken from her original Netscape-hosted website 

R2B: “Doris, thanks for your time, it is a pleasure to finally meet you, given all of the unattributed R2B wine reviews we have seen posted on the www.DorisMacDay.com.bs website.”
Doris: “My pleasure!, I scan your blog and hundreds of other amateur and professional wine websites with interest, and am happy to have a chat!”

R2B: "You are one of the most revered and recognised wine writers in the southern suburbs of Winnipeg, and your website – www.DorisMacDay.com.bs is one of the fastest growing subscription wine websites in Manitoba. How do you find the time to come to events like this on top of writing those numerous one sentence reviews padded by unattributed secondary reviews?”

Doris: "That’s a great question, and how kind of you to mention my global reach. In short, I am very good at managing my time. On top of managing my website, I bake, I cook, I garden, I taste numerous bottles of wine from producers who are loyal ‘Plankton Premium’ subscribers to my site: there is ‘just’ enough time in the day to do all the things I need to. I also have dedicated staff that help and support me. They assist me in the sometimes arduous task of finding an even mix of reviews to copy and link, as well as all the other miscellaneous administrative tasks required to run my website."

R2B: "Out of interest, what do these miscellaneous admin tasks consist of?"
Doris: "Oh, plenty of random things! Receiving and registering wine samples, checking them off with the ‘Plankton Premium’ membership lists, disposing of wines from wineries who have refused to subscribe to my site, ensuring my research staff are meeting their review search quotas. Lots of things."

One of the many  www.DorisMacDay.com.bs internet research centres spread accross North America:
Another industry-leading method that makes the site pre-eminent in Southern Winnipeg.

R2B:" On your website you proclaim to be the ‘Greatest Wine Writer in the Universe’. Who bestowed you with this amazing honour?"
Doris: "I will always cherish that award - it is giving me chills just thinking about it. It was the North Carolina Chenin-Blanc Appreciation Academy who awarded me the honour 13 years ago, and only 11 years ago awarded me the same honour for a second time. It remains one of my proudest achievements, especially given how much respect I have for that Academy. Wow."

R2B: "What advice would you give to budding wine writers interested in adopting your one sentence wine review methods?"

Doris: "The first thing I would say is research, research, research methods of padding out your review. When you are writing so many reviews you cannot be creating new, descriptive and vivid content every time. It can be a surprisingly exhaustive process to pen a 15 word review. Secondly, keep it general. Finally, ensure your researchers can link to some really good reviews from other wine writers that add credibility to your one sentence review – unattributed of course."

R2B: "Why the insistence of the linked reviews being unattributed? Isn’t it beholden of you to attribute the work of others....?"

Doris: "Hang on – you’re not one of those pesky Palette Wine Presser investigative journalists that have recently been hassling and harassing Canadian wine writers are you? I am sick of your snooping and tomfoolery!!! ……I am assuming your promise to sign up to my Plankton Premium subscription was a lie as well...... This interview is over! (Doris stormed off towards the drinks table and the interview was ended)."

Recent video footage of Doris MacDay
 debriefing the Manitoba Wine Appreciation Society
after her trip to the Chicago Wine awards- LINK

*RedtoBrown Wine Review did not pay Ms MacDay for the interview and are not paid members of www.DorisMacDay.com.bs
** Any ambitious wineries seeking global/Universal exposure can send free wine samples to RedtoBrown Wine Review. Please contact the RedtoBrown Revenue Maximisation Section(redtobrownwine@gmail.com) . Links to previoulsy published reviews of the wine would be appreciated. 

Our Interview with Andrew Jefford

Andrew Jefford, the renowned British wine writer, recently wrote an interesting and somewhat controversial piece on screwcaps as a closure for wine. Below is a link to that article

http://www.decanter.com/news/blogs/expert/530537/jefford-on-monday-the-total-experience

Interested and intrigued by Jefford’s views on screwcaps, as well as being keen to talk more broadly about wine with the man, the RedtoBrown team flew over to France to interview him at his abode in Languedoc.

Upon arrival we were warmly greeted by Jefford, and the conversation soon flowed over a glass of local wine and across many a wine subject, including his views on the evolution of terroir driven wines in Australia. Having talked for half an hour, we came to one of our key questions -

R2B: And Andrew now to question that everyone wants to know, what was the main point you wanted to make comparing screwcaps and corks and framing it in terms of the “total wine experience”?

Jefford: Well, first and foremost I wanted to argue against the view of many, particularly in your country Australia, that screwcaps are the superior closure and that is the end of the story. I think it’s more complicated than that, and indeed I think that cork, both in terms of what it says about a winemaker, as well as the variation that corks brings to the way a wine tastes, provides a greater and more engaged wine experience

R2B: But . . .

Jefford: Take this bottle of white burgundy here . . . a Corton Charlemagne from Bonneau du Matray. Look at that distinct yellow closure . . . so much more appealing than the uniformity of bottles under screwcap. And then! The excitement now as we open this grand cru burgundy . . . would you like a glass?

R2B: Very kind of you (thinking to ourselves hell yeah!)

                            (Look at me. I'm so much sexier than a screwcap)

Jefford: What’s this wine going to taste like? Every wine is always different, and with each day a wine evolves, but with cork the possibilities and variation are even more endless.

(Jefford then pops the cork)

And that beautiful sound of pulling the cork . . . aghhh . . . I’ve got a semi already

R2B: What?

Jefford: Nothing, nothing. Here you go. What do you think?

We collectively stick our noses into our glasses of Corton Charlemagne and our hearts sink . . . it appears to be corked. The palate only confirms the nose. Looking beyond this, the quality of the wine is undoubted, but ultimately it’s not something that can be enjoyed with that level of taint.

We politely broach the possibility with Jefford that the wine is corked . . .

Jefford: yes, sadly it is. But that’s ok. This wine has had a unique life, and we must celebrate what it has become. Like all god’s children.

R2B: But what’s to celebrate when a $150 wine is not drinkable?

Jefford: The total wine experience

R2B: The total wine experience?

Jefford: Why yes! From beginning to end. There’s the excitement when I received the sample. The mulling over when I should drink it, and whether I should taste it in amongst the other Corton Charlemagne samples I had received, or perhaps in a line up of Grand Cru samples I had received across all appellations. And then just now, the surprise and excitement I gave both myself and you when I decided to spontaneously open it!

R2B: Ok . . . and is that it? Does the total wine experience end when you pour your corked grand cru burgundy down the sink?

Jefford: No no no! There’s so much more!

R2B: Really? How so?

At this point Jefford jumped out of his seat and started doing a vinous interpretive dance . . . think bud burst as interpreted by Peter Garrett. This confusing performance continued for a little while before we were taken aback when he suddenly took off his shirt and started pouring the Corton Charlemagne over himself

Jefford: Come join me boys! The total wine experience. Oh yeah!

We started backing out of the room. We weren’t sure where this total wine experience was going, and the crazed look in Jefford’s eyes didn’t encourage us to stay around to find out

Jefford: Don’t you see! Don’t you see! Watch where the cork goes . . .

R2B: Let’s bail

Jefford: You Australian screwcap zealots! You’ll never know the total wine expeeeeeeeeriennnnce!!!!!!

Our last sight of Jefford as we hightailed it out of there was of him on his knees before a map of the vineyards of burgundy pouring the last of the Bonneau du Matray over himself . . .

COMMENTARY - Binge Drinking, Alcohol-Fuelled Violence and Small Wine Bars – an Alternate, Absurdist Reality?

The following interview took place at Kings Cross Police Station, 4:30AM one Sunday morning in an alternate reality.........

“I should have known when to stop drinking” James whispered to the police officers in the Kings Cross interview room, as he sat bent-over, head in his hands. “We were only out for a good time, but went to one wine bar too many”.

James and two of this three mates had been arrested an hour earlier for affray in Darlinghurst Road after spending the evening in Kings Cross. James was 15 minutes into his police interview, when he was quizzed on how much alcohol he and his friends had consumed on the night. James rattled off a list of bottles and glasses of wine from all wine regions and wine styles. The police officer interviewing looked over to the minute-taker in a knowing way – this was the third wine-related violent incident she had seen this weekend alone. The arrival of 4 new small wine bars in the Kings Cross area had led to considerably more instances of binge drinking and violent attacks in the last 18 months.

James groaned when he was asked what alcohol he had consumed on the night. “We started at a multi-level beer hall, but hated the ambient atmosphere and 2 for 1 shooters, so went to the first of many small wine bars” James recalled, before noting a $100 bottle of Champagne, a bottle of 10 year aged Semillon and a $180 bottle of Barolo had been shared between his mates at that bar alone  (while also listing several small mezze plates that were thoughtlessly consumed at the same time).

He spent the next ten minutes recounting his alcohol-fuelled binge at 3 other small wine bars, up until  the point the last bar shut at midnight (as per small bar licensing rules). “We should have taken the safer option and just gone to the Bourbon and Beefstake and done shots, or headed to a strip club” James lamented. “I knew hitting the wine bars was going to lead to trouble”.

With his face in his hands, and staring down the barrel of an assault charge and a criminal record, James continued answering questions.

The interview above is obviously fictional, though given some recent commentary regarding small Sydney inner city wine bars, you might have to pause for a moment before dismissing it as such. In light of some truly tragic violent crimes in the King Cross area, a public debate about alcohol-fuelled violence in the Sydney CBD has occured. Incredibly, part of this debate had focused on the recent proliferation of small wine bars as being one of the contributing factors behind the violence.
First there was former Prime Minister Paul Keating, who must hate natural wine and tasting plates, given his simplistic, reductionist slur on small (largely wine) bars, not to mention his personal attacks on Clover Moore. As a recent newspaper article notes:

“Mr Keating also attacked Cr Moore's policy of encouraging small bars around Kings Cross, outside the area subject to a freeze on new liquor licences imposed by the Labor government in 2009.

''Small bars are still where people drink,'' Mr Keating said. ''Clover Moore says this is cosmopolitan but the reality is these are more places where people can get a drink.'' (Link)

Paul – sure, people drink in a wine bar, but the last time I checked, Tequila Slammers or B52’s have never been recommended to me by a sommelier or informed waiter in a wine bar (or a whisky speakeasy for that matter).  In an entertainment strip full of mega bars and strip clubs, to single out 4-5 small bars that sell a comparatively miniscule volume of relatively expensive, contemplative alcoholic beverages is simplistic and misleading.



The new boutique Kings Cross Wine bar "Hells Burgundy Angels" opened
to much fanfare, particularly among members of the criminal underworld



More worryingly, we have the current NSW Hospitality Minister, George Souris coming out and stating publically that the rules governing the establishment of small bars in Sydney will be reviewed by the NSW government, suggesting small bars are contributing to problems in areas such as Kings Cross (Link).
Given the vice-like grip the Hotel lobby has had on consecutive State governments and the glut of massive, classless, poker machine filled beer bars and clubs in the Sydney CDB (and beyond), comments like these are frustrating, simplistic and arguably misleading.

To disproportionately focus on small wine bars as a contributing factor to violent crimes in Kings Cross is astounding, and seemingly politically motivated (if not motivated by the urgings of powerful lobby groups trying to deflect attention away from other causes for the binge drinking).

It is as if the scenario played out in the opening ‘interview’ is the norm, and the violent thugs and undesirables are avoiding the alcohol-free and trouble-free strip clubs, Bars and multi-level nightclubs, instead zeroing-in on the dark intimate wine bars to binge drink and wipe themselves out.

Clover Moore polarises opinions, but her changes to licensing laws have helped reinvigorate the small bar scene in Sydney over the last 4 years. This has been mentioned by RedtoBrown and others in the past and is a wonderful development for anyone who loves fine wine. People who says otherwise must not have visited a wine bar over this period.

Seeking refuge from the violent wine bar customers,
the group fled to the safe confines of the Hotel's Poker Machine room.

In light of the power of certain lobby groups, talk of restricting the sale of all drinks above 5% abv after midnight had been mooted. Thankfully, it appears that the State Government is implementing some alcohol and glass bans that target the sale of spirits and shots, but not the ongoing operation of small bars themselves. (Link) How these laws may impact on the opening of additional small bars is yet to be seen.
Regardless of the positive or negative impact of these bans, the misleading commentary regarding small bars has cast them in an undeservedly negative light. It is as if the fictional police interview at the top is how certain politicians and commentators view the impact of small wine bars in Sydney, and this view is so far from the truth, it is absurd.

WINE WARS EPISODE 3 - NATURAL WINE

In the latest installment of the inter-gallactic battle for the future of wine, Obi-Wan, Luke and the Droids have set off for Mos Eisley, seeking a smuggler of Natural Wine who can transport them to Alderan. The fate of the Biodynamic Wine Alliance depends on their mission.

Click HERE to View Wine Wars Episode 3